It was a rainy day anyhow. Grey skies with a cold, misty rain every now and then. It was the kind of day that tea and books are perfect for. With a fleecy blanket. So I did the morning drop off at school and then was back my warm house, a fresh pot of nice coffee waiting.
My husband told me to buy nice coffee. I am a frugal person by nature, so I had
been buying plain old Folgers, French Roast. Not that there is anything wrong
with that... But Erick explained to me that I need to have something to look
forward to. I sometimes stay up late at night to catch up on housework, and I
make some coffee for myself to stay awake. He thought I should have something
nice to drink, not the plain old normal stuff. And he was right! Thanks love!
So, the kids were at school, the baby and I were at home with fresh coffee, and outside it was lightly raining. Leah was sleepy and hunrgy so we spent a lovely 20 minutes snuggled and nursing. Once she passed out I did random things around the house, they must have not been important because I cannot remember right now. Anyhow, by 10:00-ish I realized I would have to make a trip out to Wal-Mart for Joe's birthday. He is having a pirate party and I am doing some really fun things for the kids. We have invited a lot of kids, so we'll see what happens (aaahhh!!). Leah and I both were feeling like crap. When she woke up, she looked the way I felt. Fuzzy and sneezy. Her eyes looked like they were itchy, I can tell she inherited the allergies from me. Joseph also has the allergies (sorry kids).
The shopping was great actually, Leah was in a happy mood even thought she was sneezing every 10 minutes and shooting snot down past her lips! Her nose must have been sore after all the wiping I had to do. But snot aside, she was all smiles! I found all the things I needed (and more) and the sun even peeked out for a bit. I was feeling a little better when I drove home through Schofield Barracks and I once again saw all the "Welcome Home Daddy" signs all over post. One of the big units here is done with their 15 month deployment. And this is the week they are all returning.
Now, I have been through deployments. This is my 3rd. The 2nd one was 15 months, so I know what it feels like to go through that separation, and how amazing it feels to have them come back home. I hear the women in the morning walking the kids to school, talking to each other with excitement in their voices. They are keeping themselves busy these last few days, helping to make the rooms nice for the single Soldiers, manically cleaning their houses, nail and hair appointments, hanging up all the welcome home signs, decorating the cars... And I have been part of all that, and I will be part of that in about 8 months. But I am not part of it now, and right now I miss my husband. I really am happy for the friends I have whose husbands are flying home now. I know they have been alone so long and how good it feels to be reunited. I know where they are, I know what that is like, but I cannot help feel a little blue when I see so many "Daddy is our Hero" or, "We missed you so much Daddy, Welcome Home!" signs. But I just try my best to ignore them.
I decided to walk to pick the kids up after school. I like to walk home, they talk about their day, they unwind a little, and it is nice to get the fresh air. Joseph was the first to ask about the signs. He wondered if his daddy would be home soon, "is that why the signs are up?" I've always explained it to Joe and Lily that the Soldiers have to take turns going to Iraq. And that is what I said to them again. Joe and Lily understand that, but I can tell they felt a little blue like I did. After we came home, it was time to pass out Joe's birthday party invitations. We walked through the neighborhood for most of them, but a few friends were too far and we had to drive. The last invitation to deliver was over on Wheeler Army Airfield (WAAF). Now, when the Soldiers return, that is where all the families can pick their Soldier up and take them home. So once I drove onto WAAF, I saw all the signs pointing to the Welcome Home Ceremony.
~Sigh~
I dropped the last invitation off but by the time I left her house, I managed to get stopped at a stop sign as ten giant buses full of the returning Soldiers came round the bend, headed to the Welcome Home Ceremony. The buses are come right from the airport where they have just landed. Lily lets out a sigh of impatience, "Mommy, why are there SO many buses?!" I'm frozen, do I tell her and Joe that those are all the daddies, or just hope she doesn't ask again and they don't figure it out? Because, honestly, I felt a little like crying a bit. My frame of mine might have been a little off, it may not have helped that earlier I delivered an invitation to a friend whose husband was going to be home that night (he was, in fact, with the group on the buses I saw). I went to her house first and I could feel the excitement in the air, almost taste it. And of course I remembered what it was like when I was on my way to pick Erick up.
By the time I made it to Lily's ballet class (again passing all the Welcome Home signs), I was determined to have a chilled out evening. I dropped her off at class and drove over to the Class Six (a.k.a. the liquor store) and bought some wine and some gin and Sprite. And that is what I am drinking now, the gin. Not much of course, (still nursing) but just a little "boo hoo I miss my man" pity party. I am going to get PJ's on, pour one last drink and read till I fall asleep.
I miss my guy. This isn't our first or second deployment, but somehow it has more rough patches than I thought it would. This week sucks a little, I guess it will be better once the big group is home and I can forget about it again. But to be reminded so heavily of the homecoming still so far away has left me feeling a little more than blue. Maybe I feel navy.
-B
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